I recently watched on C-SPAN Baltimore radio talk show host Alan Keyes announce his candidacy for president. Having never heard him speak at length before, I was struck by his insightful perceptions about today's society, along with the depth of his moral convictions, and said to myself that if the bowling industry ever gets serious about creating and filling the position of czar, Keyes—if he doesn't reach the White House—should be given top consideration.

Keyes' speech occurred about a week after this year's American Bowling Congress convention in Reno, Nev., an event which mainly emphasized cooperation between leaders of bowling's membership and proprietor organizations—with, of course, loud denials of any merger between ABC and the Women's International Bowling Congress (which nearly everyone outside of Bowling Headquarters in Greendale, Wis., knows is forthcoming), and nary a word about the game's over-inflated scoring environment.

Jim Dressel, then-president of the Bowling Writers Association of America, was the only speaker at the convention to dare discuss the scoring issue before the delegates. He pointed out that even sports editors who know little about bowling are becoming aware of the game's inflation, and many are ignoring stories based on scoring accomplishments.

Without question, Keyes would have had a problem in Reno listening to the ABC equipment specifications manager discuss how, for instance, the standards for coefficiency of friction for bowling balls were established. Just listen to this: To prevent the banning of any ABC or WIBC member's new $100 high-tech (and overly-powerful) ball, the specifications committee simply accepted the highest and lowest friction ranges for balls currently on the market.

How's that for integrity?

This method is no different than going to a high school and using all of the students to set standards for teenage behavior—a task Keyes insists must be done in our society. You'd accept Johnny and Mary, who go to church every morning, along with Pat and Mike, who rob stores and beat up old ladies—or worse—on the weekends, and simply declare that their actions now constitute acceptable behavior for teenagers.

I can just hear Bowling Czar Keyes lecturing ABC and WIBC officials: "Having the integers of the sport starting to work together is fine, but you can no longer continue to ignore the out-of-control scoring. It's wrong—plain and simple.

"Your organizations are supposed to set the standards for the game by what is best for the game—not by what is best for the manufacturers or the proprietors. Never forget that first and foremost, your job is to maintain the integrity of the game. And if you won't do it, I will!"

Keyes unlikely will become the 1996 Republican presidential nominee, but he'll undoubtedly influence public discourse over the next 18 months. Here's hoping that his politically incorrect campaign will inspire bowling's current leaders to take tough stands on the key issues concerning the sport, even if they hurt some feelings or force many ABC and WIBC members to realize that they're not quite the bowlers they think they are.

Bob Cosgrove, editor of BOWL Magazine, is a past president of the Bowling Writers Association of America.