Fellow scribe John Jowdy recently wrote a column in which he said he was perplexed and asked if today’s bowlers really are so much better than those of 20 years ago. He followed that with questions such as, At what point are scores too high? Have we let this madness go on too long? And, When does it stop?
Is this the same Jowdy who once wrote that equipment is not the reason for high scoring and that bowlers are more intelligent now?
Bowling is broken, and nobody wants to tell the emperor he’s naked. Bowling has been broken so long, I personally don’t believe it can be fixed. The System of Bowling was supposed to do that some five or six years ago, remember? Today, the System of Bowling Task Force follows people around and listens to what they have to say but offers no explanation on what they going to suggest, recommend, or do.
Bowling has to decide on whether it wants respectability as a competitive sport or simply remain a recreational game the whole family can enjoy.
High scores, inflated averages, and even bigger egos are the result of soft lane conditions, exotic ball drillings, pins that fall over if you breathe hard, and organizations that refuse to police themselves and establish true standards.
I’m a "cyber-geek" who loves to get on computer bulletin boards and get good debates going. I posed the question about bowling’s integrity, and, with very rare exceptions, found the majority of the bowlers want a tougher condition, truer averages, and they offered some suggestions. Here are a few:
• Put out a more difficult shot for scratch and classic leagues.
• Have a softer shot for beginner leagues, youth leagues, and the physically challenged.
• Have a heavier pin or lower its center of mass.
• Make better use of the re-rating rule as it pertains to averages.
• Clearly define "amateur" and "professional."
• Establish controls over equipment, with the primary emphasis on bowling balls and drilling.
These are just a few of the comments by bowlers from around the world, not just the U.S.
To steal a phrase, Somebody stop the insanity! Saying that bowling is broken isn’t what the vast majority of writers want to hear. Of course, they are the same writers that think baseball went to hell when the Dodgers left Brooklyn, nobody was better than Rocky Marciano, and we could all sip nickel beer while arguing about it.
Bob Cosgrove, a past president of the Bowling Writers Association of America (BWAA) stood before the integers and said that bowling was broken. To this day, he takes a public flogging from his colleagues.
Now that Jowdy, the immediate past president of the BWAA, has used such phrases as, "The serious scoring madness began ... in 1989," and "... if there is any solace to be found in this absurdity...." I wonder if he will receive the same flogging.
Personally, I feel the BWAA is remiss by covering bowling through rose-colored glasses. It’s time more of its members stood up and said, "We’re mad as hell, and we’re not gonna take it anymore."
I’m prepared for my flogging.
See you on the lanes.
While standing at a bowling center counter one day during a senior league, one of the bowlers came to the desk and asked, "When are you going to fix lane 18? Every week the darn thing breaks down."
The counter clerk looked at me and said, "Why are the seniors such grouches?"
At the time, I laughed, but let me tell you what makes us so grouchy. We’re grouchy when younger people race to beat you through the door of the center and then let the door close in your face. Common courtesy is a learned trait. It starts at home.
We get a little testy when all the seats, tables, and even counter space have been taken up by the proliferation of bowling balls. When centers opted to move the smokers out of the bowling circle, it became the place to stack the spare ball, the ball for the 10-pin only, and of course the ball that only strikes on the right lane.
We’re fed up with bowlers who want to do everything except bowl. When you bowl in a traveling league and drive 1-2 hours to get there, the locals think it’s OK to spend the better part of the day drinking, watching football, and playing video games. Some of us want to bowl, represent our sponsor as best as possible—after all, he does foot the bill, and the sponsor’s name is clearly depicted on your shirt. Then, we have to drive home.
Television coverage of senior bowling events certainly doesn’t measure up to the rest of the tour. Yet, when I talk to bowlers who watch televised bowling, they all seem to enjoy the seniors the best.
The modern day "cranker" with the inflated average who insists that every ball was deserving of a strike makes us grouchy. He’s the guy who kicks the ball return and cusses the center because he had seven strikes and didn’t brake a deuce—making a spare never was part of the equation. Attitudes, truck loads of balls, and bowlers who don’t understand it’s a team sport make us grouchy.
Movies like "Kingpin" make us grouchy when we know that a movie about Andy Varipapa, Don Carter, or Dick Weber will never be made.
ABC makes us grouchy when it refuses to take a stand on bowling’s integrity. So do inflated averages, lane maintenance that ensures adult bumper bowling, and brackets, which is a ticking time bomb.
There is no incentive for an amateur to turn pro as long as he can earn thousands of tax-free dollars in brackets in amateur events. A bowler making money, regardless of the amount, is not an amateur. We forbid YABA bowlers from competing for money, deprive them of amateur scholarships, yet we allow "amateur-professionals" to not only earn tax-free money, but sandbag in the process.
Makes us grouchy.
Sportscasters, especially those just prior to a bowling event, who introduce bowling like they have something stuck in their throat. We don’t expect everyone to love our sport any more than we love all they televise. I mean, how many times do you watch wrestling, world’s strongest man, beach volleyball and kids on skate boards? I’m not putting these events down, but neither should the boob that’s introducing bowling. It makes us grouchy.
PBA bowlers who fail to recognize the crowd during televised finals. All week long, the crowds are there supporting the bowlers, buying the programs, participating in pro-ams, and generally trying to make the bowlers feel at home. Let’s face it, folks, this isn’t the World Series, NCAA championships, or anything considered a major sporting event. But, once the television finals begin, only a few bowlers—Norm Duke, Mike Aulby, and Johnny Petraglia, to name a few—acknowledge that the crowd is even there.
There are a lot of other things that make us old bowlers grouchy, but that’s another column.
Grouchy old bowling writers make us grouchy, too.